I had a dream...

I had a dream last night. Nothing much of the dream that demands such attention, actually, nor it was intriguing. But then, it made me thought about it once a while, when my mind has nothing on. It probably was a sequel to another dream I had earlier, perhaps week ago, I couldn't really recall.

 

In the earlier dream, vague memories was about me reprimanding a lady, perhaps a kin of mine which the face was not familiar at all. I was quite unhappy about her worshipping a spirit at our house. I told her off but she was quite adamant on doing so, which resulted her to move away. And then, I thought that was the end of the story.

 

However, what I dreamt of last night proved I was wrong. However, this morning's dream was perhaps a little more than it's prequel, with much more involved. It started when I was approaching the door from the living room of a house. As I reached the door, I saw 3-4 god-like spirits on the porch, and a statue of one of the spirits. They were engaged in different activities, with two of them, resembling children playing among themselves, one fairy was just lingering a watching them and another deity which had a statue, was there looking around.

 

Shortly before I knew it, I was talking to the deity near his statue as he was eating a small fruit on a small patch of grass. Suddenly, his fruits dropped and landed behind him. We looked down and was surprised to noticed there was some burnt incenses on the grass. The incenses was standing upright which suggested someone was worshipping something quite often. Immediately, my mind came to the lady which I reprimanded earlier. I told the deity what happened and it ponders. Then, he said some spirit might be here.

 

I reasoned with him, that the lady is already gone, and the spirit might be with her as she's the one who are worshipping it, and not anyone else in the house.

 

However, our conversation was interrupted as my mother rushed me to help her to set up the table for worship of the 7 Fairies of the moon. As the setting up are on the way, I was asked to setup the larger incense with my cousin. We then moved on to outside of the house to do so. I managed to set up mine quickly, but my cousin is having difficulties with his. I then went over to help him. Using a used candle, I then burnt it and drop some wax to form a  base for the incense to stand on, somehow, after 3 to 4 tries, the base that I was trying to create took the form of a bullet-shaped lighter. No matter how I did it, it just repeatedly took that form time and time again. Thus, we just tried to let the incense to stand on the lighter, but the lighter cracked into pieces once the incense is forced toward it.

 

Then, my dream ended. Nothing much though, but then, it let me thought about it quite often.

 

Cheers

Andy "Shackks" Ooi

A fall from the sky...

What happened as a pleasant surprise a few weeks ago, has now becomes a disappointment now.
 
Few weeks ago, i was told that I'll be confirmed and also promoted to  another level on the corporate leader. This tidings brought happiness and makes me felt that the efforts and self-believe i gave into this job are  worth it after all - not only for the self-satisfaction. I've started counting the days and hoping that the incerment of my monthly remuneration  are good. Hopefully, able to improve my current financial standings so that 
I'll be a lil' more comfortable.
 
After a few weeks, all those hopes and happiness began to evaporate so  quickly as it came. Everything was like going back to square one and all of a sudden, my enthusiasm for this job has gone away. I received news that the  increment was nothing more than a mole-hill which, in my very own opinion, was not of the promoted level. I felt humiliated and insulted by the increment. I was being consoled that what I heard was just rumours and nothing is concreted yet, therefore, I started to seek solace in those consolation, hoping the real thing would be better that what I'd heard earlier.
 
Yesterday, the real thing came. I saw the paper and the rumour turns out to  be true. The deal was passed out with ink and seal. This time, my pride was totally crushed after seeing the words used in the letter and the figures of my incremented salary in the black print on white thick Conqueror Paper. But then, I reluctantly added my acknowledgement. Never understand why had I done it nor what is the consequence that will be later.
 
I was rash to seek comfort in many irrelevant minds hoping that someone might shed a light on what to do next, however, I can sense such will only bring undesired consequences in the very near future. One response even had a hint of sarcacism by saying that I should be happy that position gives me free glamour and my dissatisfaction can be easily be erased with my branded accesories and my costume jewelleries. No matter what response I've received, I still felt that the increment I've received was in the form of a package - a Buy 1 Free 1 package. I can't justify this action and the increment given to me. Some felt the same way as I do while felt that it was how they are. The environment here is really true to the saying "You pay peanuts, you get monkey".
 
I'm still weighing on the option if I should bring this matter to my superior's attention, hopefully, she'll be able to do something for me. However, I'm quite sceptical on that and kept thinking about the way I'll be mocked by her. i wonders if this has beaten my confidence that I now no longer has the strength to walk forward on my own. Working in such environment wasn't that comfortable at all and for countless of times, I did think of ending my employment here, hopefully, will free myself from the dreadful feeling I've been going through everyday.

 

So, what shall I do now?

 

Shall i go and give it a try, or shall I bow down cowardly?

 

Cheers

Andy "Shackks" Ooi